Reality is harsh at times. It's something that I reach for, but once grasped struggle to live with. This life I have lived the last 4 years seems almost dream like. Suddenly I'm waking up and feel like the world I have grown so accustomed to is crashing around me. Everything that made me feel safe, now makes me feel vulnerable. It's hard to feel alone when you are surrounded by so many things that you love. I know that this is part of life, and that like every challenge, I will break free from these feelings. I know that I will move on to new experiences, and challenges. It's not that I'm afraid of change. I'm afraid of losing what I have grown to love through change.

Done Living

DONE LIVING By: Justin McRoberts

Well, I spent the whole night fighting
Fighting with some ghost
And when the break of morning found me
I’d both won and lost

You see the question isn’t
Are you going to suffer any more
But what will it have meant when you are through?
The question isn’t are you going to die,
you’re going to die
But will you be done living when you do?

Yes, I spent the whole day running
Trying to catch the sun
But when the darkness overtook me
All my running had made me strong

So run till you cannot take a single step in strength
Then crawl on your hands and knees,
till your hands and knees they ache
And when you cannot crawl
It will be me you call to carry you back home again.

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

A weekend in the woods....

Finally go to escape from Slippery Rock for a weekend. Besides some events that ended up fine in the end it was a wonderful weekend... Froze my butt off but also was able to find some more of myself. Give me a sleeping bag (perhaps warmer than the one I have) a pair of chaco's and a sunny day and I'm pretty happy. It was nice to get to spend time with people in a simplistic setting. No cell phones, homework, or disturbances to get in the way. Just a walk in the woods with some old friends and new friends singing cheesy songs around a campfire.





Life moves so fast... I would welcome the speed if I knew where it were going.

The woods slow down time, they take away the hectic lifestyle we have all grown accustomed too. My day's are crammed with so many random things that I hardly know when one day starts and another one ends. It makes me sad to think that this semester has passed by and besides some A's and a thicker portfolio I don't have that much to show for it. I wish I would have disappeared into the woods more, floated rivers, hiked trails, slept in on rainy days, ran more on sunny ones, and laughed more with people I may not see for a very long time. When do you compromise who you are for what is expected of you? When do priorities get in the way with experiences? Tomorrow I start the last week of classes in my undergraduate career and it scares me.. a lot. I have prided myself on really becoming completely comfortable with myself this last 4 years. I know who I'm, I know what I want, I'm in love with my life. Now I come to another chapter in my life that I don't know how to start. Without a beginning how can there be an end? Really the thing I'm scared for the most is not feeling home.





"Home is ultimately not about a place to live, but about he people with whom you are most fully alive, Home is about love, relationship, community, belonging.. We are all searching for home.. "