I have always been able to be a part of an incredible group of people. We have done amazing things, seen sights I could never forget, and in my heart I know that we have truly taken advantage of what life can offer you. A true blessing in my life has been being able to feel this way truly, and completely.
For the first time in my life I feel alone in a comforting surrounding. I go day after day doing what has to be done, hoping for it to be another time. I hate feeling this way. I have never been someone who wanted life to pass by faster, and yet now I feel trapped in my current path. I hate not knowing what I will be doing in December, and yet I know that personally to grow I need to be able to accept the unknown. I have always had my life so put together that its hard to accept uncertainty. It's a very free feeling to know that I'm able to do whatever I want, and yet what do I want to do?
Honestly...
I don't want to leave people that have become truly a part of my life, I don't want to live alone, I don't want to not be a part of a group. I don't want to not be good at what I do, I don't want to not have time for adventure, I don't want to be unsure from this point on.
I know lots of things I don't want to do, it's finding what I do want that becomes hard. I can only hope that with God's help, and my own continual search I find something that suits me. I find something that I want to get up for, something that I can excel at not because I have to, but because I just do.

I will pray for this and hope that things fall into place..